When you descend the stairs to the Main Street Theatre & Dance Alliance, pass through its nondescript door, and make your way down the sparse, winding hallway that is your introduction to the space, you can't help but feel a special history wash over you. For anyone who has shared that history, there are memories of backstage jitters.

The issue of the Main Street Wire this article first appeared in

There are the echoes of past performances, the crinkle of flowers stored under the seats of proud parents, the scuffing of tap shoes, Bob McDowell's long, thin fingers dancing across the piano keys, the distant sound of applause, and countless pre-show speeches (listened to most intently by those backstage, crouching in the wings) made by Nancy Howe.

For many, Nancy is the face of the MST, not because she is its Director, but because she is its soul.

Seated on a faded corduroy couch in one of the back sections of the Theatre, wearing a blue T-shirt, Nancy exudes energy even though it is well past the bedtime of some of her students. Her eyes, always alert on the other side of her circular wire frames, look into you as she talks and listens, creating an intimacy that somehow blocks out the noise from the tap class down the hall. Behind the couch stands a small coat of armor, perhaps a prop from a recent performance, with a feather boa wrapped around its head. This expresses the essence of the Theatre, which is as much about the history behind it as it is about creating fun, light-hearted experiences for all who pass through its doors. Few who have come under Nancy's tutelage have left unchanged for the better. In Nancy's own words when asked how she came to head the MST, "Sometimes -what is that expression - things happen because you need them to."

The Main Street Theatre was started in 1982 as an Equity theatre for professional actors. Diana Brill, a long-time friend of Nancy and her husband Worth, chaired the Board of Directors when the Theatre was started. She was instrumental in ushering it from its rocky beginning years to its current position at the center of Island culture. When the original Board - having sold over 400 season tickets for the Theatre's first three performances - realized that the Theatre's first director had spent all of its budget for the first three shows on just the first, accruing additional debt, they had no choice but to fire him. Soon after, Diana was on the phone with Worth. "I said to him, 'Worth, there's just this wonderful opportunity for you on Roosevelt Island. You always wanted to have your own theater, and here's your chance.' Honestly - and we still laugh about it today - I cannot imagine how or why he said yes, but he did."

Nancy expressed similar sentiments, "Diana called Worth and, fool that he was, he said, 'Yes.'"

Nancy sings along during the Retrospective

Nancy and Worth promptly moved to the Island from New Jersey, where they had been managing a theater. Diana and the Board were able to secure the use of the Youth Center for future performances and even had the space electrically wired free of charge with the help of the Roosevelt Island Operating Corporation. The big question that remained was how they were going to get the Theatre out of the red.

The answer was the Children's Theatre. "It was really to pay the bills, that's how the Children's Theatre started, with most of our own children. It was a very, very small first enrollment, but it made enough money that we were able to pay off our bills and put on a second show," Diana remembers. By the time the Theatre put on its third show - Starting Here, Starting Now, directed by Worth and starring Nancy - it was out of debt and the Children's Theatre was beginning to expand.

At its inception, the Children's Theatre was headed by Worth. Nancy says, "It would not have happened without Worth. He was the director for many years, and then he started needing to do his thing more, so I took over. None of this could have been done without Worth, because nobody is foolish enough to work as hard as he did. It's really a seven-day-a-week job being here; there are no days off."

In 1984, four Equity shows were staged at the MST and the Children's Theatre put on You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, which was to become the most-revived show (most recently in 2004) in the history of Nancy's tenure with the Children's Theatre.

But financial concerns still loomed large. Diana Brill recalls, "We were just killing ourselves working, and nobody was making a salary, so that's when a lot of our friends suggested, 'Why don't you do a benefit every year? That way you guys can have scholarships,' and that's how the benefits got started - to get Island people to come see Island people -and we raised a lot of money. It was a wonderful thing for the community."

Greg Goodman, Lindsay Mure, Carla Steckman and Matthew Davidowitz during the Retrospective

Thus, in the fall of 1984, the adults staged Guys and Dolls, the MST's first benefit performance. As the benefits and children's performances grew in success, the Equity shows became increasingly challenging. Nancy remembers: "We never totally succeeded in getting the public to come in. We did really good professional shows. Some people [on the Island] were supportive and came in and some people didn't, and to the people in the profession, we might as well have been in Alaska. We did professional shows for quite a few years - three a year - all union. And then we started getting tired of working so hard. The kids' thing started getting bigger and bigger, and the professional thing was getting harder and harder. A few core people were doing all the work, and some of our people started getting professional jobs that actually paid them money and they left, and then poor Worth became the everyman - he did it all."

Pausing during rehearsals this week, Nancy Howe shared memories with Marty Brill and Joel Packer, who will appear in a number from Guys and Dolls, the Main Street Theatre's first benefit production in 1984.

Nancy took over the Children's Theatre from Worth, staging yearly musicals including Peter Pan (1985), The Wizard of Oz (1986), Oliver! (1987), The Sound of Music (1988), Once Upon a Mattress (1989), and Bye Bye Birdie (1990). As the first generation of students began to enter their teen years, a new niche was needed for them. "We added the teen classes because the kids wanted to continue, and then we renovated. We got the Public Purpose Funds that built the Theatre space that we have now," Nancy said. This marked the end of sharing a space with the Youth Center and the beginning of the MST&DA in the space it currently inhabits. The first Main Street Teen Theatre show was Pippin, performed in 1991. Over the course of the decade that followed, the children's shows and benefits continued and the teen show split into two separate productions - a play and a musical - to accommodate the varied talents of the performers.

After more than 20 years of pouring themselves into the Theatre and, by extension, the lives of performers and theatregoers alike, Nancy and Worth are leaving the MST and Roosevelt Island. Nancy will be moving at the end of July and plans to divide her time between Portland, Oregon where her daughter and grandchildren live, and Los Angeles, where Worth has already moved and started working.

Emily Specker, Carla Steckman, Anri Wheeler, Dana Levy, Gabby Parnes and Kaitlin Donovan sing "Ed Sullivan" during the Retrospective

As she spoke last week about her departure, tears began to gather in Nancy's eyes more than once. "I'm very conflicted about leaving. It's very sad for me. I look at the young ones coming up and I feel really sad that I'm not going to be a part of their growth. And I have a lot of friends on the Island. After all these years, I still love it. Working with the kids is just so rewarding, and I have such a deep affection for them. You can't be together for all these years and not bond. It's not like you're teaching math or something where there's no interplay. In the theater it is all about expressing and sharing your emotions. It brings you closer together - you're like a little family accomplishing something together, so that part is really hard to end. We spent all these years building this, and to pass it on is really difficult."

The MST will always be the house that Nancy and Worth built, but it is time for a new guard to take over. Nancy believes that Mary McCatty, the MST&DA's Director of Dance for a few years now, is the logical choice as the new Director. "A lot of people really care for and support her. She has the right personal qualities to succeed and she understands how the whole operation works. Our other wonderful teachers will stay on, and of course the Board of Directors will be helping to make everything work without us." The transition with respect to the Children's and Teen Theatre has already begun, facilitated by Nancy, "Sofia Geier is directing one of the teen shows, and Carla Blumberg is directing the children's show, with my supervision. We're going to make sure that the children are in good hands when we leave."

Carla Blumberg is herself a long-time veteran of the MST who has returned to work on the Island after graduating from Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. "Nancy inspired me throughout my childhood and continues to do so in my adulthood. Working by her side this year is an experience that I will treasure and draw on for the rest of my life. This Theatre, and the community that it nurtures, is as important to me now as it was when I was a child. Being raised in this Theatre by a teacher as amazing as Nancy helps me to understand what the kids in my show are experiencing right now. I pray only for the stamina that Nancy has always magically had. Nancy is at the center of this wonderful, theatrical, chaotic, loving community and, as she leaves, we will do as all great communities do and pull together to help this Theatre continue to thrive."

The cast of Something's Afoot in 1998

Nancy Howe may be leaving the MST, but she does not plan to stop working with children in drama. She is already in talks with a state-subsidized children's theater in Portland.

To honor Nancy and Worth and all they have done for the MST&DA and the Roosevelt Island community at large, the Theatre is staging a retrospective this weekend. It will be hosted by Diana Brill, who will speak about the history of the Theatre. It is a look back at 20 years of MST benefit concerts. Performances will be Saturday at 8:00, Sunday at 2:00, and Monday at 7:30. Tickets are $15 ($10 for seniors and disabled).

Nancy also hopes to do a retrospective of the children's and teens' shows sometime in June. "I think it would be great fun, because my heart is there. I want to do something that is really personal between me and all the kids who went through the program."

When asked how she would like to be remembered, Nancy took a long pause and, with fresh tears in her eyes, responded, "I really cared about doing the very best, getting the very best out of the children, doing the very best shows for the adults and the kids, making them rise to the occasion, making them work as hard as they could to do the best job they could, and respect me and know that I respect them and love them at the same time. And I did it because I love doing it."

Does Nancy have a favorite show? The answer is an emphatic "No!" She says, "I could never choose one. I can say, and I have told people this, that I think the show that we accomplished the most was Noises Off, in terms of a non-musical. I thought that was spectacular. We probably could have run that for a few weeks. But they all were good, I enjoyed all of it, and the kids enjoyed all of it, I hope."

The lead role in Noises Off was played by Sonya Kolba, an actress with the Theatre from 1995 to 1999, when she graduated from high school and moved off the Island. Sonya has since returned and will be featured in this weekend's retrospective. She had this to say about Nancy: "She gave so much of herself to the Theatre and everyone who was involved in it that there's no way to adequately express my gratitude. She made the impossible happen in that tiny Theatre. Her dedication was incredible, and she was a role model, not only as an actress, but as a person. What I can personally thank Nancy for is changing my life and probably helping me survive adolescence. I feel so lucky to know her."

The cast of Bye Bye Birdie in 1989

One performer to come out of the Theatre who Nancy said she would not be surprised to see performing professionally someday is Jed Resnick. One of Jed's last shows on the MST stage was The Fantasticks, during which, he said, "Nancy encouraged me to be bolder and more emotive during a song. She explained that [my character] was so in love and had so much bubbling emotion that the only way he could express himself was through song. The same goes for my love and appreciation for Nancy and Worth. It can only be fully expressed through song. The home they created for me and for the countless other people who entered that Theatre has been a rock in my life. The Theatre is a place, quite simply, where I grew up. And Nancy and Worth have been guides with endless faith and encouragement." Jed's mother, Terri Resnick, was a member of MST's original Board, and she will be performing in the retrospective, as will Jed's father, Dr. Jack Resnick.

There is no shortage of others willing to sing praises of Nancy and Worth and recount anecdotes of the various ways in which the two have touched their lives and the Roosevelt Island community as a whole. Jinny Ewald, one of the original Board members of the MST said, "I can't think of anyone who has touched more children's lives on Roosevelt Island - in ways both large and small - than Nancy and Worth. I've watched children blossom as they have progressed through the program, developing confidence and talent and self-esteem and even going on to make names for themselves in the larger theater world. All Roosevelt Island residents owe a collective debt of gratitude to Worth and Nancy. I hope we get a large turnout for our farewell to them." Both Jinny and her husband Mark Ewald will be performing in the retrospective, along with their friend and fellow Island resident, Joel Packer. "Nancy and Worth have been a tremendous part of the community, they have been very, very valuable. They have had a tremendous impact on all of us and our families. It wouldn't be quite the same without them," Joel said.

Leaving the Theatre, you see the black hands that line the main hallway, creating a trail. They are the handprints of Island residents who have somehow been affected by the Theatre: actors and actresses young and old, long-time audience members, dancers, singers. You cannot help but become overwhelmed by the tremendous sense of what this small underground space has come to mean to entire generations of Island residents. As Nancy modestly said, "The way I judge how MST has impacted [the Island] is the feedback I get - what people tell me. Parents and kids tell me how much the Theatre means to them.

Nancy Howe and Worth Howe

People will stop me on the street and say how important this place is to the community, and I think it is. I see so many children and adults come in here and find a place to be creative, to express themselves and to grow. There are children who have really found a home here, and I don't know what they would be doing if they didn't have this. It has an impact on the personalities of the kids, and on their personal growth. Because of the nature of being creative and having an opportunity to perform and join with the other kids in a group that accomplishes something, as a family, and they feel proud of themselves for doing that, and for succeeding personally, as well. That's how I judge."

Thanks to Nancy and Worth, countless Island residents, not just children, have a place in which they feel comfortable to open up, challenge themselves, and be appreciated for their creativity. "To see [children] improve from being able to barely speak on stage to really standing on their own and being poised, that's very rewarding," Nancy said.

One such example is Isaiah Artest, who began at the MST in 1998 at age 12. "Nancy and Worth have impacted my life in a big way. I was a shy kid from across the river in Queens who would never really talk to anyone and always sat in the back of the class. I had never acted before and, within my first year, I did my first musical, Into the Woods. After that, I felt as though I had more confidence and self-esteem. They showed me that as long as I am myself and have fun on that stage, I can do anything. Now I can't shut up. Nancy and Worth helped give me the confidence to go after what I want. I am no longer involved in theater, but the memories that I have at MST&DA will always hold a special place in my heart."

Through such memories, Nancy and Worth will continue to live on in the halls and rooms of the MST&DA as well as in the hearts of those who have been forever changed by their exposure to the Theatre.

Diana Brill puts it this way: "Nobody is ever going to be able to replace Nancy, it's going to take a lot of people. I think that Nancy and Worth were just meant to come here and bring a lot of joy to a lot of people and turn around a lot of lives."